Senses

The only thing I love more than the smell of rain is the smell of books. Musty, old, and slightly acidic. Distinctive. Unawares, I walk through the alleys of Oxford, past the Bodleian Library. As I cross over a ventilation grate in the street I'm stopped in my tracks by the scent. Like a bloodhound to an escapee, my nose faithfully leads me to literature.

Phantom Itches

Now, almost five weeks after surgery, I have recovered most of the feeling in my face. There is a small portion of my chin and lower lip that are still numb. However, at least once or twice a day I still get a severe and persistent phantom itch on my chin, the part of my chin that is numb. It is such a weird sensation.

Timeline: Fifteen

Fifteen is when I feel I really took off, in more ways than one. I got my braces off. I finally learned that bangs hot-rolled and hairsprayed into place wasn't my best look. I stopped being so uncomfortable in my own skin. My friend circle expanded and I became friendly with a ton of people that I previously knew of but didn't really know. The thing that really stands out from fifteen is actually the summer after my sophomore year of high school. This was my last summer of absolute freedom, before I had to worry about finding a job and thinking about which colleges I wanted to apply to. One of my friends' parents lived on a piece of land that backed up to the river. Most days we would all gather at her house and laze on the river on our floats, backs in the water and bellies to the sun (this was before I worried about stuff like wrinkles and skin cancer). When we tired of that we'd head back to the house for a snack. Her parents had an extensive garden and it was full of beautiful ripe fruits and vegetables. I have distinct memories of standing around the island in her kitchen, propped up on one leg in a yoga pose. I'd have a ruby red tomato in one hand and a salt shaker in the other and would eat tomatoes like apples, a dash of salt on bite after bite until the only thing left was the tomato juice running down my arm. That summer we swam, ate, drank for the first time, went to far too many parties, made bad decisions, made good decisions, and had the best kind of fun. We were young, naive, and carefree. That I could go back to those Halcyon days of youth.

Horns Up, Horns Down

Horns Down first, because its been that kind of day:
1. My face hurts. I'm so tired of my face hurting. I know I complain about this a lot but it is pretty all-encompassing. I haven't chewed since May 19. I'm ready to be better.
2. I'm poor. Really strapped. And it is only going to get worse. Grad school ain't cheap, especially not UofC.
3. The logistics of moving myself across the country without a car are proving to be difficult. Especially since my family is not going to help. Even though they dropped everything to help my sister move into a dorm room, it is really just too much for them to help their other daughter (who is recovering from major surgery) move an apartment full of stuff to a city she's only been to about 5 times in her life. A city she is nervous about moving to because it is really different from the city she's from. Because she doesn't know a soul there. Has only visited the school once. Is a bit scared of the neighborhood. Is intimidated by (but determined to conquer) public transportation. Doesn't know what she's getting herself into, if she's made the right decision. A little support would be nice is all.

Horns Up:
1. Face is getting less puffy by the day. Eventually I am going to be very very very glad I had this painful surgery.
2. School debt is good debt. Getting a master's from a good school will be more lucrative in the long run. I will be able to pay off this debt...eventually.
3. My wonderful wonderful boy has agreed, nay, volunteered to take time off work and help me drive a moving truck across the country and move into my new apartment. He wants to see where I'll be living and help me get settled. Wants to. Isn't making me feel bad for begging. Is volunteering. Is wonderful.
4. Some really good friends are getting married this weekend. The wedding is going to be so much fun and I'm going to see some people I haven't seen in a while. Very exciting.
5. I'm going to a friend's Birthday Boat Party on Saturday. I've never been to a boat party before. Should be very fun!

Adventures in Public Transportation

I ride the bus to or from work kind of a lot. It is free for me, it picks up less than a block from my apartment and drops me off within sight of my building. It is good for the environment, saves me money on gas, etc. There are also lots of things that I do not like about riding the bus. The morning bus comes 40 minutes before I have to be at work and drops me off at work a whopping 25 minutes early. That's 25 minutes that I don't get to sleep, that I don't get paid for, that I don't want to be at work. The afternoon bus picks me up from work around 5:25pm. If I'm lucky. It usually comes closer to 5:35pm. So I get off work at 5:00pm, wait 35 minutes at the crowded bus stop in the blistering sun, and then ride 8 minutes to get home. So what should take 8 minutes usually takes 45 minutes. I know that I could ride my bike (if I wanted to get to work drenched in sweat and/or get run over) or, if I was feeling very ambitious, I could walk. It would probably take me about 45 minutes. Neither of those sounds like a better option to me. So I sit at the bus stop in the afternoon and sweat, and get harassed by the other interesting array of individuals who rely on the city bus for transportation. The other day I was sitting there, sweating and squinting into the sun, when a rather scraggly middle-aged dude came and sat down RIGHT NEXT to me. Not a polite foot or two away but practically on my lap. He looked me up and down, whistled appreciatively, and said "You're cute." I just kind of half-smiled and looked away. I mean, uh, thanks but no thanks, I do not want you unsolicited appraisal, even if it is a compliment. Then he gave me another once-over and said "I bet you're kind of mean though." I wasn't sure quite where this was going but I was relieved to look up and see my bus coming around the corner. I replied "maybe." He smiled really big and said "Yeah, I'd spank that right out of you." I scowled, walked away quickly, and escaped into the confines of the #5, totally skeezed out and simultaneously grateful that my bus had come and he wasn't riding it.

Ah, Youth

A friend of mine who worked registration this morning at freshman orientation just told me that one of the people she was helping asked her if a particular teacher was "nice." The friend was speechless. This would almost be cute if the incoming class wasn't turning out to be comprised of assholes.

My Father the Hero

I had originally intended to post something about my dad this past weekend, nearer to Father's Day. And then I got busy and spent the weekend running (driving) all over central Texas. So, without further ado, here is a list of things that make my dad awesome:
1. He had a not very awesome father and instead of following that example he did the opposite and became a very very awesome father
2. He lives in a house dominated by three girls (four if you count the dog) and will absolutely always run out at any time of the day or night to buy us lady products. With nary a peep or complaint.
3. He would do absolutely anything for those three girls. He watched Bridget Jones's Diary with me when I was recovering from surgery. Not only that, he watched willingly.
4. He absolutely loves text messages. This is one of the cutest things ever. He loves the sound of his message alert so much that he sometimes sings it. I send him random texts all the time because I know he loves getting them. He always responds. And he was very willing and patient when I taught him T9 texting.
5. Even though I know he disapproved, he would always stop and buy me a Diet Coke when I had a caffeine craving. One time he accidentally got caffeine-free Diet Coke and he actually went back out and got me a caffeine-full Diet Coke to replace it.
6. He is the epitome of an absentminded professor. He loves teaching, is very good at it, and is really involved with his students. He is also disorganized and rather, well, absentminded. He forgets directions to places we've been numerous times. He doesn't notice things that I think are glaringly obvious. He is always forgetting people's names and/or calling them the wrong one. BUT he puts up with a lot of teasing for these things by people who are not as gracious about acknowledging their own faults.
7. He wholeheartedly supports the decisions I have made for myself. Go to college, do well in school, get a responsible job, go to grad school in what happens to be his field. He also wholeheartedly supports the decisions my sister has made for herself. Go to college, drop out, become a waitress, live with your boyfriend, find yourself. He does not judge.
8. We all pitched in and got him an iPod for Father's Day last year. He still raves about it and thanks us for it, a year later. And he genuinely means it.